Bread Crumbs

WOULD YOU LIKE SAUSAGE ON THAT?
The movie starts out with a girl tied up (vertically). There is a pan frying oil. She screams as she is being tormented with a cake spatula! She wears a deputy star on her waist which then goes into the oil. More screams! The opening credits give us a Hansel and Gretel theme background. A porno film crew is traveling along the road. They make a quick rest stop in the woods and meet a weird couple.

They make it to a cabin where they party the night. Angie (Marianne Hagan) is trying to stop smoking and drinking. This will be her last film. By 80's slasher film standards she should be the lone survivor. Sexy Zoe Sloane plays Skylar, our first nude porn star. The crew is spied upon and visited by 2 young adults who are extremely creepy. Mike Nichols is the director, producer, co-writer, editor, and he plays Eddie. Two of the producers also starred in the movie. One funny moment was when the new kid was trying to learn his lines as a pizza delivery boy in a porno film...

I actually feel stupid for watching this. Be smarter than me...don't!
I actually feel stupid for watching this. Be smarter than me...don't! If you wanna' see people getting picked off with clever, funny kills and some funny set-ups and lines then you shouldn't turn too far from mainstream. I'd aim for Sorority Row, the Scream series (Scream 4), Tucker and Dale vs Evil or Final Destination 5.

All right, full disclosure: I knew nothing about this flick before watching suffering through it. No preview, no good plot summary, just a random suggestion by Netflix for a lover of "Violent Slasher Movies." The opening credits were thoughtfully and artistically executed in a Hansel and Gretel fairy tale storybook style. This is nice. It shows us that the filmmakers actually cared about this movie. The film quality smacks of mediocrity, which I'm willing to let slide for a bit, and the acting and dialogue are painfully subpar as I suppose you'd expect from a tolerable-quality straight-to-DVD slasher. But this was less than tolerable...

One more bad horror movie
A group of men and women drive to a remote cabin in the woods to shoot a porn video. While there they cross paths with 2 strange children, a brother and sister. One of the actresses is older, shooting her last movie before retiring from porn. She talks to the female child outside one night and her mothering instincts take over as she worries why they are playing in the woods at night. The girl says their house is nearby but when the actress offers to walk her home she runs off.

Not long after this one of the actors is locked out of the cabin because he couldn't remember his lines and he's attacked. They bring him inside, let him with the older actress while the rest go through the woods to look for help. Two of them are shot with arrows and one of the girls is captured and tied to a tree. Those alive return to the cabin. When they make a run to their vehicle for a first aid kit another is killed by the strange male child. As morning approaches only the older woman is still...

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